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i'm starting to really panic and doubt myself. am i doing something incredibly stupid by moving to Melbourne? by myself.. with no money.. dependent on my parents.. using up all their money.. am i relying too much on my friends there to be my friends and hang out with me? what am i gonna do there by myself? am i setting myself back on a career path? i'm homeless. i'm jobless. i'm really doubting myself. i feel guilty that i'm wasting my parents' money. can i live on my own? do i know what i'm doing? panic.



Aug. 26-31 HAWAII!!!
Sept. 19 Melbourne

so excited.

i still don't have much organized for Melbourne.. i got rejected from a temp agency. i didn't know it was that hard to register with a temp agency.. like how hard is it to be an assistant? fairly certain that i could be one, and a good one at that. i found this House Share company, but their properties are really expensive. it's probably worth it in terms of the size of the bedroom, location, and how nice the houses are, but considering that i don't even have a source of income set yet, i just can't commit to them. as much as i want to.

this summer has been pretty uneventful. i'm glad that Luika's back from Europe. she always gets me to do things. went to 6 Man in Manhattan Beach over the weekend. it was craaaaazy. there were SO many people on the beach! met up with David Chew, Jerad, and Jaclyn, and i was there with Luika and Q. lots of fun.

yeah, overall, life is boring right now. but not for long!

life update

SCHOOL: classes are long. they're classes. the usual. assignments and midterms are starting up though, so we'll see how stressed i get..

WORK: INTERNSHIP! i'm loving it so far. all i'm doing is filing and typing stuff, usual intern errands, but for some reason, i feel like i'm actually doing things that matter. i feel like i'm actually helping my supervisors get shit done. i'm interning with Columbia Pictures' Field Publicity department. they're in charge of all the local publicity a film gets. so there are managers of the different regions of the States, and each manager has an assistant. i'm helping the assistants with their stuff. that includes organizing and logging all regional press that mentions a Sony/Columbia Picture title, logging screening confirmations and invoices, inviting people to screenings, etc etc. i've already seen the perks of working in the publicity stuff--worked the red carpet of the Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs premiere, free Cloudy promo items, scheduled to work the red carpet of the Zombieland premiere and the press day next week! at the Cloudy premiere, NPH, Robin Scherbatsky (Cobie Smulders), and Ted Mosby (Josh Radnor) all walked right past me. awesome. the only downside for this internship is starting the day at 9, meaning i get up at 7 to start driving at 8. this is Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. and i'm not getting paid. i'm thinking of asking for half-days on Fridays, so i can have some sort of social life on Thursdays.

FRIENDS: i've been doing my best to retain some of that studying abroad lifestyle--not letting work and study get in the way of (spontaneous) hangouts/activities with friends. and i think i've been doing alright. i've been going out at night when i probably shouldn't. but my attitude now is if i don't do it, i'm missing out. it's my senior year of college. i'm 21 years old. i'm still a student after all. it's made my life really busy, but at the same time, i'm really happy. i've been spending a lot of time with the Aussies here on exchange.. which now i realize may not be the best thing. 'cause they'll be gone in a few months, and i've spent all my time with them, it'll be like starting from scratch with my other friends.. same attitude the Aussies had towards us when we were on exchange? i now understand it.. why invest your time in hanging out with us if we're leaving in 5 months..? i haven't ONLY been hanging out with them though. i'm making the effort to ask all my friends what they're up to.

bottom line. life is good. busy. but good.



can you fall for someone after 3 days?

an hour later.. i realize i am wayyyyy too fucking far ahead of myself. as always.



technology truly is amazing.

i went to visit Claire and Cam in Michigan, and we videochatted with Trav, Brad, and Steph who are in Melbourne.

two days ago, i got to watch the Essendon game (AFL Aussie rules football) live online, while at the same time chatting to Ed, Hame, and Sam on Facebook. it was midnight my time, 5 pm theirs.

anyway, it just baffles me that communication has reached this point. it's awesome.

oh! and i left my 2 USC jumpers with Luika to give to Hame and Ed, and they finally got them from her. and they love it :) Hame said he already wore one haha and Ed was just so surprised and happy that i gave him one. i left it up to them to choose which one they want. but i guess they could share them!



two weeks. just two weeks left.
i can't believe it. i never want to leave. my friends are all starting to leave. i want to be back here as soon as i can.
i feel like i've experienced so much down here that i've grown or at least rediscovered myself. i've just had the time of my life. a lot of "first"s.
when i think of all the days i've had here, every single day was filled with a smile. the people i've met here have made this experience all it has been. they're a major part of why i don't want to leave. if we could all just stay here together..



this past week, my friends and i went on a trip to the Whitsunday Islands and Cairns. it was absolutely beautiful. the Queensland coast is stunning.

it was also the first time i got overwhelmingly homesick. it started with listening to a voicemail from Hunter. it made me giddy that he called and laugh because his message was funny. immediately after that message was a voicemail from my parents, but more from my grandparents. my grandparents are 80 and 89 years old, and they're adorable. it was when i heard my grandpa's message, though, that i started tearing up, and a few tears fell. he didn't realize that he was supposed to leave a message, so he was like "Hi Ronni! Long time no see." (silence) my parents and my grandma in the background started yelling "Leave a message! She's not there!" it made me laugh and cry at the same time, just because it was a typical thing my grandpa does, and it made me miss him and my grandma like crazy.

this then continued the next day when i was talking to my parents, and they told me my uncle almost died a couple days earlier. he's been sick for years with something with similar symptoms to Parkinson's, but doctors say it's not Parkinson's. he's pretty much confined to a wheelchair, and he needs a caretaker. but he can carry on a conversation with you, albeit very slowly and stuttering. growing up, he was probably my favorite uncle. we shared a love for basketball, and he loved us a lot. he's also one of my dad's closest brothers. so to hear that his heart gave out and he didn't breathe for three minutes broke me. my parents told me they went to visit him, and he couldn't speak. but they could tell he knows what's going on around him. he blinks to answer questions. in addition to wanting to be there for him, i mostly want to be home for my dad.

now i'm back from the trip, and i've got exams to study for. one on the 15th, the 19th, and the 26th of June. i fly back home on 4 July. also coming back to gloomy and cold Melbourne from gorgeous tropical Queensland kinda sucked. to know that i left paradise to come home and study. and to know that i only have 4 weeks left. four. only four. i mean, i guess it'll be nice to be home, but i'm going to miss my friends. i'm going to miss this city. it's going to be hard going back to life that's not exciting, that's not an adventure.

i'm who i really am here in Melbourne. the way i act around my friends here is who i truly am. and i hate to say it and admit it, but i don't have friends back home who i can act like this around. nor do i feel like i truly have a good group of friends at school like i do here. i can't remember having this much fun with friends at SC. i feel like i don't get to act like myself at home.

bottom line is i'm going to miss it here. everything about it.



enough about boys. how 'bout i write about the other parts of my life abroad?

i got back yesterday from Easter break in New Zealand. 12 of my friends and i roadtripped, camped, and hosteled through the south island. 9 boys and 4 girls. no all-out fights, which is kinda surprising, but there was definitely friction between some people. mostly just frustration as we got to know each other in a different way. being friends with someone who you hang out with for a few hours every week is different than being friends with someone who you spend every minute of 10 days with. but i think we'll all be fine. of course good times were had. my birthday at midnight being one of them.

the night of the 12th was our first night camping. we all had our duty-free alcohol in tow and we trekked over 2 hills next to our campsite to the beach. the boys each bought 2 bottles, and each of the girls bought one. two of the boys even bought a giant bottle of Jim Beam, and i do mean giant. anyway, it turned out to be an absolute shitshow. hilarious and so much fun. and i'm sure even the 3 boys who puked that night and/or the next morning enjoyed themselves.

we hired 2 vans and drove and drove. we got to see a lot of the landscapes of New Zealand. didn't get to see much of the towns or cities which is more of my thing, which means we didn't interact with the locals too much, but it's ok.

coming back from the trip, we all realized how little time we have left here. we all have about 2 and a half months, but our one friend Rudy leaves a whole month before we all do. we are having the time of our lives here, and it's just unbelievable that it's all flying by so fast. i still need to travel around Australia, for god's sake. i haven't even been to Sydney yet! if it weren't for 2 papers and 2 group papers due between May 5 and May 18, i wouldn't be so worried that i can't fit everything in. not to mention the money aspect to taking trips.

but other than that, i am still loving my life down here. the friends i've made--both American and Australian--are friends i hope to keep for a long time. fantastic people. and there's just something about this city that i love. i've come to feel so comfortable living here. i will miss Australia deeply.



as i start preparing for my birthday (April 13), i realize that brings upon the 2-month mark of my being in Melbourne. which also signifies pretty much the halfway mark of my time in Melbourne. and that panics me to no end. i can't imagine leaving this place and this country.